Surprised Me

"After all these years, I am still involved in the process of self-discovery. It's better to explore life and make mistakes than to play it safe. Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life."

-Sophia Loren

I have been very surprised this year. I’ve amazed myself.

Looking back on 2014, I’m glad my curiosity attended to the wonder that lives within. I met and concluded my own revelations. There was a strength and loyalty I have recognized through these wondrous phenomenons.

There are a few people that have stunned me this year. This reversal of good fortune from the negativity of certain people, however, with the impact of these various epiphanies, is that I, unexpectedly, created joyous liberating movements for myself. 

This year, I promised that I was going to become my own phenomenon. My own prodigy.

The journey of pursuing yourself, discovering your abilities are important, at any age, and through any trying or happy period of life. It's liberating to experience the challenge of commitment; to overcome the hardships that are needed to surpass necessary barriers. These normal difficulties of trying to keep it together, all became influential in reminding me how important I am to my goals. These became essential educators that I would not, and could not, ignore, for they were molding my life this past year.

My diligence became specific. There was a removal of hatred, and honored self-made promises. This self-assuring commitment kept my dedication strong and intact. I guaranteed my assurances; became a person deemed with a relied accuracy. There's no bullshit. 

The previous 12 months were silent instructors to overcome this inherent need of not feeling mediocre. I inspired myself to seek my potential; to succeed and to create my own future. More importantly, these quiet educators proved a reason to celebrate myself, to praise my success. The evolving demanded a profound statement of approval. I was becoming proactive with my desires. At the end of the day, these endeavors are paramount to my existence.

It’s learning to love. Love. Loving yourself through all of the intense adversity thrown in your direction. Those unfavorable circumstances were brought upon to teach me how to overcome the big, the bad, and the ugly. Although they were embarrassing and heart-rending, the humiliation does not stay afloat. I drown it and detach myself from the "negative nancies". 

Love comes in different forms, from different people. You don’t always marry the one you love, not always stay in love, and you can outgrow the lover. Rising over the mate is frightening, although it is an honest outcome, it's hard to admit that the relationship is no longer equal. The possibility that one person in the relationship can develop more-so while the other person remains neutral, is detrimentally heart-breaking. However, the love developing within stays solid as you luxuriously thrive in growth. 

If you allow it to. 

I’m on a positive track where my ambition outweighs everything else. My ears ignore the naysayers, my eyes shut when there are negative reviews, my mind doesn’t relive the hateful comments, because I chose to stay determined, not deterred. This love is quickly exalting an influence of fulfillment. I am becoming who I want to be. 

Had I leaned in on all of the unfavorable statements and irresponsible behaviors from various people, I’d be worse than them. My strength is greater than their hate. I’ve accomplished the task of relying on my instincts; to deny my animal faith just to meet prohibitory thinking or to submit myself to a nasty lifestyle, would be, to say the least, lowering my dignity, my honest estimation. My mother taught me better than that.

Like I said, I’ve never been exposed to this much surprise.

It was sudden that I have pursued the loves of my life this year: dancing and writing. I’m shocked with how responsive and interactive I became to most situations. It's profound that I stayed silent through some. I’ve met quitters this year. Was greeted with selfish and greedy attitudes. I have encountered monsters who tried to violate my body with a manipulative seduction. I firmly stood my ground and enhanced my strength. Through all of those bad traits, I was introduced, and re-introduced, to my stance, my identity. 

Next year, I will continue my path; advance upon engaging in handling my future, because that, is the most important connection I need to make. Who else is going to do it?

My ambition is purposeful as are my words. My tenacious decisions are steadfast and ring true. 

Cheers. To the Future. To the Discovery of Our Self.